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'Animal House' is a must read for kids

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All day long, while you're sitting in school, you're thinking about the fun things you'll do as soon as you get home.

It's not that you don't like school, because you do. It's just that when you get home, you can run around and yell and play with your own toys. You can do all the things you aren't allowed to do at school. You can go a little wild.

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In the new book "Animal House" by Candace Ryan, illustrated by Nathan Hale, a boy shows his teacher that being wild at home isn't all just in his head. It's the way he really lives.

Jeremy's teacher, Mrs. Nuddles, said that Jeremy had a very active imagination. She said his thinking was so wild that he belonged in a zoo, and she didn't like his stories. One morning, when Jeremy told Mrs. Nuddles that his vulchair ate his homework, she decided that it was high time for a home visit. If Jeremy was just making things up, he wasn't going on the class field trip.

On the day of the visit, Jeremy told Mrs. Nuddles that she couldn't possibly miss his gorvilla. It had the biggest condoor in the neighborhood. There was a tall chimpney off to one side and a nice back perch, too.

As Mrs. Nuddles walked up the sidewalk, Jeremy could see her through the windodo. He opened the condoor and warned Mrs. Nuddles to be careful. The pink floormingoes hated getting dirt between their feathers.

But that wasn't the only danger. Jeremy's little sister left the skink running and it bumped smack into Mrs. Nuddles, which sent her flying toward the sealing. Fortunately, she didn't fall hard, since there was an armapillow to cushion her fall. Then, on the way up the harecase, a lamprey grabbed her dress and he might have ripped it, if it wasn't for the fast action by the refrigergator, who then offered them a toucan of soda.

When they finally got to Jeremy's kangaroom, Mrs. Nuddles looked around. She saw the computer monitor lizard on his desk, and the mouse. She didn't notice the vulchair, but the vulchair (who loves to eat old things like teachers, for instance) surely saw Mrs. Nuddles...

Wow, your kids are going to love this. They'll be dragging this book over to your lap several times a week. But be warned: reading it aloud is going to take a dress-rehearsal first. Before you give your kids "Animal House", be sure to lock yourself in a room, and practice, practice, practice.

With more than just a few twists of the tongue and more puns than you ever thought possible, author Candace Ryan will tweak kids' funny bones and poke their creativity with what amounts to a very cute and kid-friendly play-on-words game. Add in the colorful, imaginative illustrations by Nathan Hale, and your kids will want rename everything in your gorvilla.

AnteLope carefully down the sidewhelk, get in your automob-eel, and gopher "Animal House." For your 4-to-7-year-old, this book is a hippopotamust.

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