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Chris Damlo column: Writer's block: Perfecting the art of writing nothing

It's finally happened. Something horrific, something terrifying, something disfiguring, something debilitating. Writer's Block!

That's right everyone, the time has come where I actually have absolutely nothing to preach about, complain about, or to rant and rave on. I am truly saddened by this occurrence.

I'm sure some of you may be thinking, "Oh thank the Lord Jesus on high, he's run out of comments." Well I assure you next week I will return with something I feel is important to talk about.

I'm sitting here listening to show tunes and watching "Family Guy" on TV, and I'm still drawing a blank on ideas. I mean come on, music usually does something for me. Hmmmm, maybe it's time to switch to classical. Nope, did not do a thing for me. So now I decided I'm going to stupidly stare at the screen, maybe drool a bit.

My life is so ridiculously busy lately. If it isn't the monotonousness daunting task of filling out scholarship essays, it's the endless mounds of homework. Life sometimes is just ridiculously busy and sometimes I don't even know what to do.

Right this second, it's very late in the day and I'm having troubles keeping my seemingly weighted eyelids from dropping any further. I mean have any of you ever fallen asleep in a textbook, and you wake up with the pages stuck to your drool, and on your face, and the imprint of the words on your cheek. Then you look like a freak, and everyone laughs, and they call you textbook face and then you explode.

Once you pull yourself together and you're not lying in a bloody pool of your own bones and organs, you begin to realize that you don't need to take life so seriously. Sometimes you just need to kick back and enjoy a book or something, and just relax.

Then you can focus on reaching the ancient state of Nirvana. Nirvana can take up to 80 years to achieve. However, I have finally learned to push myself into a state of Nirvana and become at peace with the world around me. (I wish).

I really am struggling to find words to express how I am feeling at this very moment in time. I'm kind of lethargic and some what exhausted. My arm has also fallen off due to the leprosy-esque side effects of writer's block, and I've started losing fingers on my other hand and it is becoming increasingly difficult to type.

Hola! Decidido comenzar a teclear en espa?ol! Just kidding, I wont type/talk/speak in Spanish. That would not be right since I'm not sure how many of you speak Spanish (I also think what I typed may have been wrong....).

Well I think my creative juices are running thin, and I think it's time I hit the old dusty trails. Oh, I'm going on an amazing choir trip in a bit. I will actually already be on it as you all read this and realize you want to assassinate me for the pointless column you just read.

This trip is the opportunity of a lifetime, and I'm very grateful to be graced with this experience. Well until next time my friends.

Christopher Damlo is a senior at Detroit Lakes High School.