Come to The Buckskin Bar & Grill
"Hello, is this Creative Consulting?"
"No, I'm afraid you have the wrong number."
"Well, hold on, before you hang up, can I bounce a few ideas off you? I just need a reaction to some ideas I've been mulling over."
"Promise me you're not a telemarketer trying to sell me something and I'll listen. I have about 10 minutes here and I'm willing to hear your ideas, but I can't promise I'll be any help."
"Here's the deal -- I'm about to buy a bar and grill and I'm working on a catchy name."
"Well, what's your name?"
"Why don't you just call it Bill's Bar & Grill? It's accurate, it's straightforward and it's personal."
"But there's nothing catchy or creative about Bill. That's why I was calling Creative Consulting."
"You must have dialed the wrong area code. I'm not creative and I'm not a consultant. What kind of a place do you have in mind?"
"Did you ever see 'Cheers' -- the TV show about a friendly neighborhood place 'where everybody knows your name?' I want that image -- that friendly feeling."
"What about Friendly Bill's?"
"I need more sizzle than that -- a name that hints about what you can expect on the inside -- like The Buckskin Bar & Grill in Killdeer, N.D. Where they have a great collection of cowboy photos and memorabilia on the walls."
"But you're not creating a cowboy bar. How about a name like The Meeting Place?"
"Sounds nice but not interesting."
"I once had a meal at a place called The Crooked Billet. Interesting until I looked up billet and found it was nothing but a short thick piece of wood like a chunk of firewood."
"I need something with more meaning -- like Rod & Gun would be attractive for sportsmen."
"But you never mentioned sportsmen. If you're not interested in them, you could have a sports bar named Home Plate, Touchdown or, like a former placekicker from Minnesota, Gino Cappelletti, who kicked for the New England Patriots and opened a place in Boston called The Point After -- or a place in Phoenix, Ariz., near a mountain peek called Beside the Point. Are you starting to get the point?"
"Was that a pun? That would be fun. The place I'm remodeling used to be a small church. May I could call my place The Tavernacle?"
"That's a good pun, but don't go there. You'd probably offend two groups of potential patrons at the same time. You could make it sound like an old English pub with a name like The Bull & Bear Bar."
"I don't want a name with bar in it, it has to sound more dignified than that."
"You could select a dignified name like The Office, The Library or The Embassy, so your customers could call home and honestly say they were stopping at The Library."
"Maybe that's too dignified. I suppose what I really want is a name that attracts men."
"Why didn't you say so. Pick a name like Sara's that suggests an attractive, personable female owner, say like Sara Whatshername."
"No political suggestions thank you. I want men of action, not skirt chasers."
"Men of action -- how about Stub's Rough & Ready Dirty Fingernails or Bad Breath?"
"Most offensive. What a phony you are. You know you haven't had one good idea yet."
"I'm not a phony, I'm a wrong number, remember? But I do have one good idea. Why don't you concentrate on great food, reasonable prices, prompt, friendly service and a clean, inviting place of business so you can forget about clever names? If you can manage that, you'll have all the business you can handle and you can call it Bill's. The bottom line is not the name of the establishment, it's quality. Your 10 minutes are up."