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Donald Trump, you're fired!

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Donald Trump has been in my face for a couple of months now, maybe yours too, so today I'm going to swat him away like a pesky wasp, and try to forget the constant irritation and insult before his little hot air balloon either gets shot down or crashes under its overload of B.S.

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Trump reminds me of one of our recent Minnesota governors, Jesse "The Body" Ventura (Ventura is not his real name), a former professional wrestler. Ventura, like Trump, was a boaster, a chest thumper and a big, tough talker full of bluster who said our problems are simple and he was the guy to fix everything. As with most braggarts and bullies, he had a thin skin and was most sensitive to questions and criticism. Before long, he was calling the press "jackals." The smartest thing he did in four years was not to run for a second term. You can't fool all the people all the time.

Trump, like Ventura, is a boaster, a chest thumper, a blustering big, tough talker who says everything is simple and he's the guy to fix it all. For example, he's the guy to fix the high price of gasoline at the pump. He'd just call the sheiks and dictators who control most of the oil we buy and tell them, "That's it fellas, it's all over, we're not gonna stand for this any longer." I heard him say that in an interview. Golly, why didn't somebody else realize it was that simple?

For months, Trump's been telling us the president wasn't born in the United States. You heard him say that too. Trump was the leader of the "birther" fringe. In an interview he said he'd sent out investigators to Hawaii to look into the birth certificate question. "They can't believe what they're finding," he blustered. He never did say what it was. And when the president produced the long form birth certificate, Trump still didn't say what his investigators had found, but boasted he was proud to be the one who finally uncovered the truth. Anybody else would have been humiliated or at least humbled, but not The Donald. It's not what he knows that bothers me, it's what he knows that isn't so. He will probably also suggest Osama bin Laden isn't really dead because he hasn't seen the pictures. What a phony.

"I'm very rich and very successful, so I can do this." When he waves to the cameras, it's like a king waiving a few fingers to a group of second graders. What colossal arrogance. Will Rogers once said, "Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far." But that will never happen to Trump -- he's blowing his own horn as long as can be, and I don't hear anybody else blowing it for him.

We have important issues in this country, as recent events have shown, and a birth certificate is not one of them. The Republicans have a number of serious professionals with talent, judgment and experience. They all have more brains than hair. We may not agree with them, but nobody's calling them clowns or carnival barkers. The presidential election of 2012 should be a serious debate, not a sideshow or another reality show providing daily material for comedians. As for Trump, is he a problem solver or a troublemaker?

So, Donald Trump, you're fired.

You've been dragging us down, so get out of the way -- we have serious business to take care of.

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