Get on the 'Bus': Bret Michaels brings his show to Hankinson
These days Bret Michaels is as much a rock star as he is America's most desperate bachelor.
Since 2007 the Poison singer has been the subject of VH1's reality dating service, "Rock of Love."
Despite getting plenty of face time with more than 60 hotties, strippers and personal trainers, he still hasn't found the next Mrs. Michaels. (Perhaps because it's hard to slip a wedding ring on a woman's finger when she's throwing the devil horns.)
How tawdry is it? Writer Diablo Cody called it "the sleeziest, cheesiest, herpeeziest competitive reality show since, uh, 'Flavor of Love.' " Harsh words from a former stripper.
With the singer bringing his solo show to the Dakota Magic Casino in Hankinson, N.D., on Friday, some Midwestern women may be tempted to see if they can get invited onto the "Rock of Love Bus."
In the spirit of all those Facebook quizzes that aim to tell you something about yourself, here is our "Which 'Rock of Love' lady (and we use that term loosely) are you?"
You're the nice girl who sticks out and makes men follow you. Unfortunately, you end up realizing it's the wrong kind of guy.
A: You're Jes, the pink-haired winner from the first "Rock of Love," and you could do a lot better.
You're a party girl and go all out to get your man, to the point of being overly aggressive and mean. You have no trouble talking behind people's backs, but you do have trouble keeping your shirt on.
A: You may not want to admit it, but you're the vampy wannabe celeb Heather.
Despite showing compassion for animals, you seem to hate people - especially other women. You are manipulative and often try to antagonize others into starting fights. And you drink too much. And your music stinks. And what's the deal with your dad?
A: Meow! You're the sinister, plotting Lacey.
You sometimes "forget" your real name and "forget" to tell guys you still live with your boyfriend. Oops. You tend to look for advice from Riki Rachtman, former host of "Headbangers Ball," and are drawn to guys named Flex, Fox and Sinister.
A: You're Daisy, or Vanessa Mossman (which explains using a different name), who is now hosting her own reality dating show, "Daisy of Love."
You wear a cowboy hat so much, people wonder if you're the one who is going bald.
A: Saddle up, cowgirl. You're Rodeo, the emotional mom who left "Rock of Love" to return to her family - but returned to reality TV later.
You're a winner. You can get anything you want, and you don't seem to have many issues, which means you'll get tired of dating a rock star within weeks.
A: Yup. You're Ambre, the blond winner from "Rock of Love" Season 2.
You are nice, too nice for a rock star and totally forgettable after the reunion show.
A: You're Mindy. Wait, who are you again?
You are a stripper Penthouse Pet with a heart of gold - or at least a pole of gold.
A: You are a rock star's dream! Oh, and your name is Taya, who "won" Bret's heart on this spring's "Rock of Love Bus."
If you go
* What: Bret Michaels
* When: 8 p.m., Friday
* Where: Dakota Magic Casino, Hankinson, N.D.
* Info: Tickets are $29; $39 day of. (800) 325-6825.