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MN budget deal: Thankfully, the very rich are protected

I just got through reading through the new Minnesota State Budget. I think a lot of people might have missed the disclaimer in small print at the end of the document.

"Absolutely no millionaires were hurt or sacrificed in any way during the making of this budget."

I know I feel a lot better knowing that no one will have to give up their mink covered toilet seat on their new yacht.

There were some good lessons to learn in personal finance, however, for the rest of us who have to figure out how to pay all of our new property taxes and state fees.

• Pay your taxes with a credit card. When the payment comes due, move it to another credit card. If you do this long enough it might miraculously disappear. In the meantime, finance a football stadium in your backyard and convince yourself that it will actually make money some day.

• Borrow money from your favorite uncle who smokes a lot before he dies. There is bound to be lots of money to inherit when we sue the tobacco company for taking advantage of his stupidity. Unless, of course, we don't win the lawsuit.

• Pretend that borrowing money gets rid of debt. This is a lot easier to do than going out and getting a second job so we actually have more revenue coming into our family budget.

• Stop saving for your children's college. There are lots of good $10 per hour jobs you can get with a high school diploma or a GED.

• Send charitable contributions to the "Wealthy Households and Individuals Need Excess Resources" Foundation (WHINER). Even though we have lost millions of jobs since this charity started in 2001 when we changed the tax laws, they hold on to the premise that if you redistribute 90 percent of the nation's wealth to 10 percent of the people they may create a job (unless, of course, you can find cheaper labor in Mexico or China).

In the meantime it is important for a few people to have more money than they can spend in 10 lifetimes. Just make your check out to the WHINER Fund.

If we all work together I think we can make this thing work. -- Donald A. Johnson, Detroit Lakes