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Open letter to Congress

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Dearest Esteemed Members of the United States Congress,

I have a problem. Fortunately, it is one which I believe you can fix.

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Earlier this month, as I was making preparations for the Holiday shopping season, my plans were foiled when it came to my attention that I have no money. It is not my fault times are so hard for me right now, though I assure you that all my expenses this past year were all completely necessary and wholly beneficial to the Common Good.

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