Weather Forecast


A good word -- 'Don't eat them eggs!'

The man's flight to Atlanta was supposed to arrive at 8 p.m. But due to one delay after another, he landed just a tiny bit late at 3 a.m. He was scheduled to make a presentation at 8 a.m., and he decided it was too late to get a room and catch some sleep so he elected to have an early breakfast. He stopped at an all-night diner and sat down in a tiny booth. A waitress came and wordlessly brought him a cup of coffee and a menu. He glanced at the menu for just a few seconds and said, "I'll have the ham, egg and hash brown special, eggs sunny side up -- and a good word." The waitress said nothing. She wrote the order down and left. Ten minutes later she plunked his order in front of him and again said nothing. "What's the good word?" he asked. She looked at the eggs, then she looked at the man and said, "Don't eat them eggs." True story, and that's all there is to it. I wasn't there and that's all I know.

Last Friday, I was on the road and stopped at a little truck stop where they have wonderful apple fritter French toast. While I was eating, a couple sat down in the next booth. The woman, a slender lady about 45 years old, was wearing a jacket that said, "LACY'S MOM" on the back. I could plainly hear her order. "I want a big pile of crisp hash browns with three poached eggs, poached light, like snot, with the eggs on top of the hash browns and the whole thing covered with hollandaise sauce. This is important to me -- if you don't get it right, I'm sending it back." Her husband rolled his eyes and said to the waitress, "She wants the eggs just about three degrees warmer than the chicken that laid them."

I tried to time my eating so I wouldn't finish my French toast before the lady's eggs arrived. I was lucky. Her order just arrived as I was getting up to leave. I stepped over to her booth and said, "I just had to see your eggs before I hit the road again." She held her plate by the edges and pushed it over where I could see it, proud to show it off. It looked like the snotty remains of a head on collision between an egg truck, a gravel truck and a lemon yogurt truck. "It looks wonderful," I lied. "Just the way I like it," she grinned.

How happy I was when dieticians took eggs off the "cholesterol bomb" list and put them back on the high protein, energy dense, vitamins A, B, C list. Cholesterol? You can eat an egg every day (only 80 calories) without harming your cholesterol or other blood-fat levels.

My favorite for a quick breakfast is a 53 second microwave poached egg on a slice of toast. The more water you put in your poaching cup, the softer the egg. Less water, harder egg. For lunch (not the same day), an egg sandwich is made of a solid scramble of egg, onions, peppers, cheese, chips of your favorite meat, flavored by ketchup or salsa -- on whole wheat toast. A lunch like that will give you the enthusiasm and energy to write an article about eggs about 687 words long.

For snacks before the Super Bowl, my favorite is a deviled egg with enough mustard and pickles to make it impossible to just take one. If I slip and take two or three, I can just skip eggs the next day or two.

Eggs have been called "nature's perfect food," and they are. Our breakfasts and meals in general would be mighty dull without them. There is only one time not to eat eggs -- when your waitress, who knows more about your order of eggs than you do, looks you straight in the eye and offers this earnest advise (her good word), "Don't eat them eggs."