It's good to be the RPS champ

DETROIT LAKES - The Detroit Lakes portion of the Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament was held Wednesday, Feb. 27, at Zorbaz on The Beach.

Here is what could have been written if a real sports writer was covering the event.

All of those rock, paper, and scissor competitions to decide who antes up for the next round paid off for Brian Wierima of Detroit Lakes.

    After six grueling rounds of Bud Light's Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament at Zorbaz on the Beach in Detroit Lakes Feb. 27, Wierima found his calling - and he didn't even have to break a sweat doing it.

    The new Detroit Lakes RPS champion can hit the high life now after earning district gold and earning a berth into the Midwest Regional, which will be held Saturday at the Borrowed Bucks Roadhouse starting at 7 p.m.

"It's only one step, but I know it's a big step after getting out of the Detroit Lakes districts," Wierima said. "The Regionals are big and I know there are a lot of good RPS players who will be there. But you know what? I belong there too."

Wierima enamored the Zorbaz crowd with some after-RPS celebrations, quickly making him the crowd favorite after round one. His one-gloved performance - in which he kept his patented black glove on his left hand (his landing hand) - entrapped a following of at least 2-3 watchers at his table for each round.

But it was his championship round performance which burned the film for future highlight reels.

It came down to a best out of three rounds -- best out of three in each round -- to win the eventual Bud Light gold medal (which in actuality, was plastic, Wierima found out later).

Wierima took round one in sweeping fashion, taking down his opponent (who didn't want to be named for this story because of specific reasons) with a rock and scissor move, the same one he used in his first-round victory.

But his opponent proved to be stringent, taking Wierima down in two rounds himself, using the powerful rock-paper combo, knocking the eventual champ on his heels.

"I was hoping to get the title tilt done early, I didn't want any hint of doubt seeping from me to my opponent after I lost," Wierima said after the round two loss.

But tears were too early for the RPS phenom, as he took the first bout of the third round with a rock over a weak and rusty scissors.

"I wanted to come out strong, and is there a better way to come out stronger than with a rock?" Wierima commented.

The final two rounds were electric, as heard from the 15-plus crowd in Zorbaz.

Wierima's opponent went with the reliable rock in round two, thus blocking a sweep because the eventual champ went with scissors.

    Bang!

    That's all Wierima could hear.

Bang!

    "I thought my hopes and dreams were done."

    Onto the final and last round.

    The winner earned gold (really plastic) and the runner-up still won a place in the regionals. But that didn't matter to Wierima.

"I hate being the bridesmaid," Wierima said. "I don't look good in a dress (as he chuckled at his own joke)."

Then it came...the double scissors move no one expected.

"Hey, you lose once with a move, but it was as solid as steel to me," Wierima added about his scrupulous double-scissors move. "And you know...scissors beats paper."

And yes, indeed, a double-scissors move propelled Wierima to the next step of immortality.

"All I did was complete a dream for all those kids from small towns, since I'm from a town of under 400 people (Deer Creek - Pop. 309)," Wierima said. "Yes, it's always a long shot to get here, but you have to keep that faith."

It wasn't that Wierima's path to PRS Gold (plastic really) was smooth.

Not at all. He had to run over family to get there.

    He beat his wife, Chrisy, in the quarterfinals 2-1. It was a rivalry like the Yankees and Red Sox - meaning, with no remorse.

"I figured if I was going to become a champ, I had to step on some toes," Wierima said. "Gold is thicker than blood in this sport, I had to take it. I wouldn't have minded another RPS champ in the house, but it might as well as have been me."

Wierima credited just knowing Chrisy's thoughts and scouting her the first two rounds was a huge advantage for him.

That was all the momentum Wierima needed to literally push his rock up the hill to the title...with the help of some paper and some scissors, that is.

As Wierima exited the playing grounds of the Detroit Lakes District championship, he gave some RPS words of wisdom.

"Something like this only comes with hard work," he said. "Just stay in school and don't do drugs."

With his left hand being his landing one and his right being his action hand, Wierima sees all the pieces to the puzzle forming.

Bud Light, Las Vegas and Paper, Rock and Scissors....are those the pieces to the puzzle called "destiny"?

    Brian Wierima thinks so.