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Lynn Hummel column: Where have all the Gordons gone?

Detroit Lakes Newspapers columnist Lynn Hummel recently published his fourth book, "The Last Word," a collection of some of his favorite columns from the past 40 years.

I went to the arena

To watch some hockey games

But as I read through the program

I was struck by players' names

None of my generation were still in print

Not a single Gordon and nary a Clint

There were Wills by the dozen and never a Bill

Never a Gilbert and seldom a Gil

We had many a Kenny, but now there aren't any

Not a single Ralph, Eugene or Benny

The names are modern now, much cooler no doubt

Now Bernard, Norman and Harold are totally out

Taylor, Tyler, Trey and Tauer

Are names of our lads of the hour

A name like John we awarded veneration

But now there are no young Johns in this generation

We had names that might have been a girl

Like Lynn, Lee, Dale or Merle

But the boys today sound definitely male

Like Maddux, Logan, Nick or Cale

If you like names that suggest action

Hunter, Tanner and Gunnar provide satisfaction

I never knew Braeden, Brady, Bailey or Blake

I just knew Vance and Lance for heaven's sake

A team without a James, Jimmy or Jim

May be up-to-the-minute, but can they win

But with Jacob, Levi, Noah and Eli on the ice

Heaven will think that lineup is nice

There are no skaters like my cousin Bing

Now Reese and Robby are the trendy thing

Can a team with no Noel even score a goal

Yes indeed, with Reed, Liam and Cole

We had an Elmer, we called him Bud

Would a team today without a Bud be a dud

No — if you have athletes named Jackson and Jack

You have history leading your attack

New names are fresh air in the passage of time

They give hockey fans perspective and rhyme

Nevertheless, I remember Harvey, but I never knew a Drew

I remember Harvey, but I never knew a Drew