Have you thought about your appendix lately? Probably not unless it’s hurting or burst.

That little 2-to-4-inch tag-along tube attached to your intestine has the experts puzzled, as it probably does nothing for you. Nothing.

What else do we know about that is completely worthless? Let me express my opinion on that issue. I can think of the television ads of five different insurance companies that are completely worthless. Worse yet, most of them are irritating.

One features a cast of characters in white smocks and uniforms, led by a young woman, all of whom show up and do silly things. They do a ton of advertising so I’m sure you’ve seen them. They seldom say anything about the details of their insurance except they have auto, home and motorcycle coverage. Some ad agency is charging huge sums of money to create those ads – money that could be used to reduce premiums or pay claims. Why would anybody buy that insurance except they remember the name of the company?

Another company has ads that features a guy with a black eye who goes around and intentionally causes auto accidents and property damage. He’s causing insurance claims. If he doesn’t strike you as being outrageous, you haven’t been paying attention. Is he an ad to attract a person causing the damage or for the victims? They never tell you. More money spent on ads that could reduce premiums or pay claims. Those ads are so offensive I wouldn’t consider purchasing insurance from that company. The ads have the value of a swollen appendix.

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Another company shows a guy selling insurance wearing an outfit the same colors as an emu who trails along behind him. The emu looks at windows, sees his reflection and pecks at the window and thinks that no two (emus? policies?) should be alike. Do you remember the name of the insurance company? I don’t either.

Then there’s the company that shows a guy getting rear ended at a stop sign by a car full of clowns. The company claims “we know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two.”

I’m sure – but should the guy who gets rear ended have their insurance, or should the car full of clowns? What if both cars have the same insurance? I know a thing or two because I’ve seen a thing or two and I’m not buying.

Another company films their commercials with the statue of liberty in the background.

The message, delivered by struggling actors and bike riders is unclear, but I think it’s about tailor made insurance.

I think an insurance ad designed to entertain rather than to inform is worthless and a waste of my time and should be ignored by everyone as we ignore the worthless appendix in our guts. The company that gets my business has no nonsense business, like advertising. The rest of the companies form an advertising group and call themselves the Clown Car Appendix.