'Twas the day after Christmas and the snowbirds were loading

Santa was gone and the snowflakes were floating

The wagon was packed in the driveway with care

In hopes of departure in weather still fair

The children were back in the suburbs at last

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And the old folks were hoping to get away fast

We stopped the papers, turned down the heat

Transferred the mail, made everything neat

We closed the shutters, threw down the sash

Cleaned out the fireplace, hauled out the ash

We won't miss much, just ballgames and plays

Our friends, our church, our skis and our sleighs

Crisp winter mornings, fresh air and fresh snow

Frost in the trees and winter's bright glow

We'll trade it for warmth, to rest our old bones

Juice up our glands and stir our hormones

Won't have to shovel, won't have to plow

Don't want delay, want to migrate now

No more scraping and chipping the ice

No more long-johns, won't it feel nice

Won't have the sniffles, won't catch a cold

Won't get the chills, won't feel so old

Last night while nestled all snug in my bed

Visions of shuffleboard danced in my head

So we're packing our clubs and packing our shorts

Packing our bikes, we're all around sports

We'll talk about doctors, our pills and our pains,

Cricks in the back and fog in our brains

We'll talk about taxes we hope to avoid

When it comes to taxes, we're always annoyed

We love the buffet, but don't say it out loud

We gotta leave early to avoid the crowd

So many places so warm and inviting

We call them by name, it's all so exciting

There's Mesa and Phoenix, Yuma and Dallas

There's Tempe and Tampa, Tuscan, Nogales

We've settled our plans for a long winter's nap

Let's roll the wagon, get out the map

We're both in parkas, not taking chances

Of freezing our butts before getting through Kansas

So I'll spring to the car and to grandma give a whistle

And away we'll fly like the launch of a missile

And you'll hear me exclaim as we dash out of sight

Happy New Year to all and turn off the light.